Where am I in the Journey to Amor?
Well, on my knees.
Recently I’ve been thinking why is that I was given the instruction to join Amor? I think it’s because I asked: explicitly and boldly. “Where do you need me?”
Some people have come to me and commented that it’s pretty neat that I get to hear God’s voice so clearly. The truth is that it was not always like that. In fact in most of my life, ( And I mean as a Christian, because I like to think that my life begun when I met Jesus), God had been pretty silent. Truth to be told I had also been pretty silent to Him.
Praying was not my strong suit. Only when things seemed completely out of my control, did I get on my knees and prayed, really prayed. What I mean is that although we regularly prayed at our home, specially during bedtimes. Those prayers usually came from the innocence of my children, we prayed for others, we gave thanks and perhaps ask for healing of a minor boo-boo or the sniffles.
However, when I was out of my comfort zone, I could do nothing else but to give it to God. And every time He responded. So I learned to pray; but also I learned to start moving with each response, and in these instances God has shown up in amazing ways.
Newbreak, our home church, is going through the book Draw the Circle in preparation to Easter. It’s been an amazing time of prayer and faith and it couldn’t come at a better time in my life. One of the things that struck me is that I should work hard as it depended on me, but pray like it depended on God. This means that with my work I show God that I have faith that He will respond. I move, He moves. For His glory.
But the most important aspect of this, is to pray. Many of the prayers that don’t get answered were never utter.
Some times we don’t pray, because it’s an act of faith. We would be hurt if our prayers would meet indifference. But trust me they don’t. Even when we don’t get the response we wanted, He is a Loving God and He is after something greater, for our good: working, mending, changing us, comforting us always. We just need to keep on praying.
Some times we don’t pray, because we “got it.” In which case, the only cure is to step out of our comfort zone. Start pursuing bold and brave dreams that God put there and trust me when you start stretching He’ll show on a big way.
Some times we don’t pray, because we were waiting for the sign and it didn’t come. Here I think more often than not, we received the sign, we quit on praying and forgot all about it, when the answer came later.
Some times we don’t pray, because what we need is so big and our view of God so small that we don’t trust Him.
Either way. Right now, I’m on my knees. I need Him, and trust Him.
My eleven year old son recently shared with me the most beautiful sentiment of faith. While watching Lark Rise to Candleford, a beautiful show about the life in the countryside of England at the turn of the 19th Century, he said he too had struggled with doubt like the character in the show.
When I asked him what he meant, he said he also had prayed for “a sign.”
He had been praying for guitar lessons since his previous teacher told us his schedule no longer worked for him. I didn’t try to get him a new teacher as I saw an opportunity to save some money in the meantime, because I have not been working since September.
My son says that he prayed knowing God would answer. But His answer took a couple of months. Now for a 11 year old boy that’s a very long time. Yet he kept on praying.
Two weeks ago, without knowledge of my son’s prayers, our church’s Youth Program began offering free music lessons to all kids. That was all the answer he needed. He’s now learning worship music and enjoying his guitar once again.
I’m grateful he shared with me and it became an opportunity to share our insights about prayer. He told me about keeping a journal, like his leader suggested. “The shortest pencil, is longer than the longer memory,” he said. Which it happened to be what I had just read on that day, day 5 of Mark Batterson’s Draw the Circle 40 day prayer challenge.
So, today I’m kneeling, moving through the prayer section of my journey for direction, provision, faith, rest, vision, heart change and Amor. Steadfast trust in God.
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. Colossians 4:2